If you come back

If you come back
I'll sharpen my knives,
load the gun,
shut the windows
and pull the drapes.

If you come back
I want you to know
that I will get an assault dog
who will attack
at the mere whisper of your name.
I will get carnivourous plants
that you can be sure
I will be feeding your blood type

If you come back
you must know,
that I will not open the door,
I will not look through the curtains,
I will not talk to you,
I will not listen to you
and I don't want you
to listen to me.

If you come back
you should know,
my dog has rabbies,
the bubonic plague just broke out
in my neighborhood.
My last lover had aids.
So, you see,
you must not come back.

If you come back,
don't knock on the door.
I won't be responsible.
If you come back,
for my sake,
turn your back to the door
and please,
please walk away